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Saturday, December 16, 2017
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Parents Toolshop

Archive for the ‘ Parenting Tools ’ Category

Is Building Self-Esteem In Children A Good Thing?

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First, you open a parenting magazine with an article on why “self-esteem” is important. Then you read a newspaper column that says, “Self-esteem is a crock.” Then you read two articles on the web; one says to praise your children and one says not to. Doesn’t it irk you when so-called experts give you inaccurate or conflicting parenting advice? That’s because there are many myths about self-esteem that parents, professionals and even researchers believe.  For example, there have been numerous research studies on the importance and impact of building self-esteem in children. A December... (Read More ...)

Do Bribes and Rewards For Children Work?

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Julie’s son is always throwing tantrums or running off when she grocery shops.  She wants him to behave and stay with her. To entice him to do this, she tells him, “If you stay with me and we can get through the store without you throwing a fit, you can pick out a candy bar at the checkout.”  All through the store, Julie reminds him, “Remember, if you are a good boy you’ll get to pick out a candy bar.” Why Do Parents Use Bribes and Rewards For Children? You’ve probably been tempted, like most parents, to reward your children’s good behavior or use bribes to entice your... (Read More ...)

Looking for Bedtime Routines To Make Bedtime Peaceful?

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 It’s time for your children to get ready for bed. You say, “Time to go brush your teeth.” One whines, “But I don’t want to brush my teeth.” The other says, “I want to keep playing.” Your spouse steps in and says, “You both need to get in the bathroom and start brushing those teeth.” The children just complain and whine louder. You threaten, “If you don’t brush your teeth now, there will be no story time.” This just escalates the situation and now the complaining has turned into temper tantrums. You probably know the basic “5 B’s” of bedtime routines:... (Read More ...)

Can Anger Management Techniques Help Stop Aggressive Behavior In Children?

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 Your child is playing soccer with some friends and all of a sudden you see him shove one of the other children to the ground and kick him. You have taught him anger management techniques and you have seen him control his anger in the past so this takes you by surprise. You run over to break up the commotion. You say to your son, “That was really inappropriate.  You know better than that.  What’s gotten into you?” Your son’s response is, “Well, he deserved it.  He started the whole thing.  He hit me first!” You are taken aback and say, “No one deserves to be hurt.  You need... (Read More ...)

Is Giving An Allowance For Helping With The Household Chore List A Good Way To Teach Children And Teenagers Money Management?

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Is Giving An Allowance For Helping With The Household Chore List A Good Way To Teach Children And Teenagers Money Management? You have been giving your children money for doing chores. You have company coming over and need to get the house straightened up quickly. You ask the children to help pick up the living room while you clean the bathroom. The first response you hear is, “Well, how much will you pay?” Your other child chimes in, “Yeah, that’s not included in what we do for our allowance!” You become frustrated and annoyed because you are in no mood to negotiate right now.  You... (Read More ...)

Can Daily Affirmations Help You Achieve New Years’ Eve Resolutions — or ANY Goal?

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The clock strikes midnight. Everyone cheers and is merry. A New Year has just begun. Your friends and family are taking turns sharing their New Year s Eve Resolutions. When it is your turn, you tell everyone, “This year I am going to get fit & trim down.  I’m going to learn to knit and make sweaters for everyone to wear by the time the December Holidays roll around again.  I’m going to organize my house and there is going to be a place for everything and everything is going to be in it’s place.  I’m going to be a better parent and spouse.  Last but not least, I vow to take time... (Read More ...)

PUNISHING VS. DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

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Disciplining children is different from punishing them because it teaches children to learn from their mistakes rather than making them suffer for them. In fact, imposing suffering actually shifts the focus from the lesson that needs to be learned to who is in control. As a result, punishment focuses on the parent being responsible for controlling a child’s behavior, rather than the child controlling his/her own behavior, which is the focus of discipline. In Positive Discipline, Jane Nelsen offers guidelines for using consequences, which she calls the Four R’s of consequences. These... (Read More ...)

Is Time Out An Effective Child Discipline Tool For Handling Misbehavior?

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IS TIME OUT AN EFFECTIVE CHILD DISCIPLINE TOOL FOR HANDLING MISBEHAVIOR? Alice is four years old.  When her two-year-old brother won’t share a toy she wants, she pulls his hair.  Alice is sent to time out.  She starts having a tantrum and says, “I wanted that toy and he wouldn’t give it to me.”  The parent says, “Well, pulling hair is not how to ask for a toy you want.  Go to the corner for time out and think about how mean you were.” What will happen next?  Will Alice calm down or get more upset?  Will she sit in the corner and think about how it wasn’t nice to pull her brother’s... (Read More ...)

Is There a Drama King or Queen in Your House? How to Respond Helpfully When Handling Children’s Negative Emotions, Feelings and Temper Tantrums

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Is There a Drama King or Queen in Your House? How to Respond Helpfully When Handling Children’s Negative Emotions, Feelings and Temper Tantrums Pat is what most parents would call a Drama Queen or Drama King. Whenever something happens, Pat’s reaction is always over-the-top. It’s so that Pat’s parents feel a need to calm Pat down by saying, “Come on, it’s not that bad,” or “Don’t get so upset.” Over time, they just stop paying attention at all. None of these responses really “work.” In fact, Pat seems to escalate no matter what the parents do. So Pat’s parents have simply... (Read More ...)

GETTING BACK TALK? LET’S TALK! How to Handle Disrespectful Children

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GETTING BACK TALK? LET’S TALK! How to Handle Disrespectful Children Alicia posted this request in her moms’ group discussion forum: “My 8 year old is starting to talk back frequently and is very disrespectful. I am trying to figure out what would be a consequence for back talk, but I can’t think of anything! (Besides a time-out or send to his room.)”   Half a dozen moms chimed in, “I know, my child does that, too, and it drives me crazy!” Some of the parents have toddlers, some have school-aged children, and some have teens. They asked how to discipline it, prevent it, and... (Read More ...)