If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting! Looking for Bedtime Routines To Make Bedtime Peaceful?  It’s time for your children to get ready for bed. You say, “Time to go brush your teeth.” One whines, “But I don’t want to brush my teeth.” The other says, “I want to keep playing.” Your spouse steps in and says, “You both need to get in the bathroom and start brushing those teeth.” The children just complain and whine louder. You threaten, “If you don’t brush your teeth now, there will be no story time.” This just escalates the... (Read More ...)

 Can Anger Management Techniques Help Stop Aggressive Behavior In Children?   Your child is playing soccer with some friends and all of a sudden you see him shove one of the other children to the ground and kick him. You have taught him anger management techniques and you have seen him control his anger in the past so this takes you by surprise. You run over to break up the commotion. You say to your son, “That was really inappropriate.  You know better than that.  What’s gotten into you?” Your son’s response is, “Well, he deserved it.  He started the whole thing.  He hit me first!” You... (Read More ...)

Is Giving An Allowance For Helping With The Household Chore ListA Good Way To Teach Children And Teenagers Money Management?   You have been giving your children money for doing chores. You have company coming over and need to get the house straightened up quickly. You ask the children to help pick up the living room while you clean the bathroom. The first response you hear is, “Well, how much will you pay?” Your other child chimes in, “Yeah, that’s not included in what we do for our allowance!” You become frustrated and annoyed because you are in no mood to negotiate right now.  You... (Read More ...)

 Can Daily Affirmations Help You Achieve New Year s Eve Resolutions — or ANY Goal? The clock strikes midnight. Everyone cheers and is merry. A New Year has just begun. Your friends and family are taking turns sharing their New Year s Eve Resolutions. When it is your turn, you tell everyone, “This year I am going to get fit & trim down.  I’m going to learn to knit and make sweaters for everyone to wear by the time the December Holidays roll around again.  I’m going to organize my house and there is going to be a place for everything and everything is going to be in it’s place. ... (Read More ...)

IS TIME OUT AN EFFECTIVE CHILD DISCIPLINE TOOL FOR HANDLING MISBEHAVIOR? Alice is four years old.  When her two-year-old brother won’t share a toy she wants, she pulls his hair.  Alice is sent to time out.  She starts having a tantrum and says, “I wanted that toy and he wouldn’t give it to me.”  The parent says, “Well, pulling hair is not how to ask for a toy you want.  Go to the corner for time out and think about how mean you were.” What will happen next?  Will Alice calm down or get more upset?  Will she sit in the corner and think about how it wasn’t nice to pull her brother’s... (Read More ...)

Is There a Drama King or Queen in Your House? How to Respond Helpfully When Handling Children’s Negative Emotions, Feelings and Temper Tantrums     Pat is what most parents would call a Drama Queen or Drama King. Whenever something happens, Pat’s reaction is always over-the-top. It’s so that Pat’s parents feel a need to calm Pat down by saying, “Come on, it’s not that bad,” or “Don’t get so upset.” Over time, they just stop paying attention at all. None of these responses really “work.” In fact, Pat seems to escalate no matter what the parents do. So Pat’s parents... (Read More ...)

GETTING BACK TALK? LET’S TALK! How to Handle Disrespectful Children     Alicia posted this request in her moms’ group discussion forum: “My 8 year old is starting to talk back frequently and is very disrespectful. I am trying to figure out what would be a consequence for back talk, but I can’t think of anything! (Besides a time-out or send to his room.)”   Half a dozen moms chimed in, “I know, my child does that, too, and it drives me crazy!” Some of the parents have toddlers, some have school-aged children, and some have teens. They asked how to discipline it,... (Read More ...)

Why Kids Do What You Tell Them Not to Do. How to Prevent Defiant Children, Power Struggles and Tantrums Don’t Say “Don’t” When I was eight years old, my parents took a parenting class and went on to teach parenting classes for over twenty years. I was old enough to remember what my parents were like before and after that class. One might think I had a perfect family, but my older brother experienced a traumatic childhood event that left him with severe emotional, mental, and behavioral difficulties. My parents’ use of the parenting skills, in addition to the professional... (Read More ...)

Sibling Relationships and How to Avoid Sibling Rivalry Question: I know it’s normal for kids to fight, but their fighting drives me crazy! It seems that it’s become a habit to get a rise out of each other. I’m tired of reprimanding them, separating them and even taking away toys. This seems to work temporarily, but the behavior persists. How can I respond more effectively so I can live in peace again? Response: I’m sure many parents can relate to your situation. The only thing more uncomfortable than being in a conflict is being around one! Some parents “let kids... (Read More ...)

USING BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION TECHNIQUES Behavior Charts, Incentives, Stickers, and Tokens.  Should I Use Them? If So, How? Many professionals who dispense parenting advice tell parents to use rewards or create “behavior modification” token systems to teach children a skill, to get children to take on a responsibility, or to curb an unwanted behavior or habit. Often, however, rewarding good behavior with behavior charts has the same effect as bribery. Long-term studies of work incentives, behavior management programs for children, weight loss and stop smoking plans have all found similar,... (Read More ...)