Real News Headlines: Colorado boy, 3, dies after being left home alone — mom charged with child abuse. Orlando, Florida: Deputies: Child tied to door, left alone in home with sibling. Former police officer charged with child abuse for force-feeding his 15-year-old daughter hot sauce. Tennessee couple charged with murder and child abuse for allegedly forcing their 5-year-old daughter to chug more than two liters of water and grape soda. Dayton, Ohio, 2013: Father Who Beat His Girls For Allegedly Twerking & Sneaking Out The House Indicted On Corporal Punishment Charges. 2014: New Kansas... (Read More ...)

Effective Communication Skills:  How Can I Use Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Skills To Talk So Children Listen?   Jennifer has 3 children ages 8, 12, and 16. She struggles getting any of them to listen and cooperate. Any time she tries to have a conversation with one of them about what needs done, they mumble or give her some teen code she has to look up, like “IKR Mom!  D” (Translation: “I Know, Right.”)  Later, when they don’t do what she asked, she wonders whether they didn’t understand what she meant or she didn’t understand their coded language! At times,  she... (Read More ...)

“How was your day?” Rebecca asked her twelve-year-old when he came home from school. “Ok,” he responds. “Did you learn anything new today?” she asks. “Nope,” her son plainly says while staring out the window. “Well, what did you do today?” she asks. “Nothing,” her son responds in a tone of voice that was clearly saying, “I’ll be thirteen next month, mom, please stop trying to talk to me, gosh!”Rebecca picked up on this tone of voice and stopped the conversation there. Do you find it difficult to communicate with your own children? Does it seem hard to connect with... (Read More ...)

“I don’t know what’s up with my friends lately.  It seems they never have time to hang out and do anything I think will be fun,” David complains to his mom, Chloe. “Well there is so much you can do on your own, David.  What do you need your friends for?  Why don’t you go read one of those books from the library or practice your guitar?” Chloe suggests “Agh, Mom, you just don’t understand.  Don’t you know what it’s like to want to hang out with your friends anymore?” David asks “Well, if they don’t want to do the things you like, then what kind of friends are they? ... (Read More ...)

“I want more juice!” demands Eric, Ashley’s four-year-old son, from the dinner table. Ashley politely replies, “Please don’t talk to me like that. Say ‘please.’” Then Eric starts to whine, “But Mom, I’m thirsty! I want more juice!” Ashley tries to be patient and says, “Honey, I know, just say ‘please.’” Now Eric’s whining becomes an ear-piercing scream. He throws his fork, shoves the table and stomp his feet. Frightened by Eric’s outburst, Ashley quickly gets him a glass of juice and says “Okay, okay. Calm down. Next time please ask nicely.” This incident... (Read More ...)

Karen is so annoyed.  Her 2-year old daughter, Tina, is constantly telling her “no!” or becomes defiant and refuses to cooperate with even small requests she typically went along with just last month.  Karen’s friend tells her, “Oh, this is normal for 2-year olds.  She’s just going through that terrible twos defiance stage.”   Even though her friend tells her it is normal, Karen wishes there was a way to nip this stage in her daughter’s life. She wants to enjoy her daughter’s cuteness, but is anxious wondering when the next toddler tantrum will arise.  If you are like most... (Read More ...)

“I made more goals during my game than you did in yours,” Bill remarks to his brother, Tom. “Well, I kick the ball better and overall I’m a better soccer player than you,” Tom states defensively. “No way, everyone knows I’m the better soccer player” replies Bill “Who are you fooling?  You know I’m the best!” Tom argues. Sandy, their mom, is tired of hearing all this talk about who is better than who and then it ending in a big argument.  She wants her sons to be proud about the effort and hard work they put into practicing and playing on their soccer teams, but their competition... (Read More ...)

 The “Before” Story always sounds like this: My kids have been doing [you name it]  for years. I constantly tell them “don’t,” “stop” or “quit doing that”. I’ve told them a million times and they still do it! I don’t know if they are defiant children, but I’m tired of the power struggles and handling tantrums.   The “After” Story always sounds like this: I used this tool one time and they did what I wanted them to do, the first time I asked, and I never had that problem again. Now I use it all the time and it works every time the first time! When you see your children... (Read More ...)

When children misbehave, our gut reaction is to do whatever we can to stop it and stop it fast! There are three big problems with this approach: Misbehavior is only a symptom of a deeper core issue that the child is expressing in a negative way. If you only try to stop the misbehavior but don’t identify or resolve the core issue, that misbehavior will continue or another one will crop up, until the core issue is resolved. Reactions will always either escalate the situation or give an accidental payoff which will cause the misbehavior to continue. (I rarely say “always” or “never” but... (Read More ...)

THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATING TODAY’S PARENTS Although most parents would agree that their children are more important than their job, most usually get more on-the-job training than they do as a parent. As a Mother of seven once said, “The love is instinctual but the skills are not.” A NATIONAL MOVEMENT A 1990 study by fifteen of the nation’s largest youth organizations found that the United States has done poorly in solving the problems affecting today’s youth. There was broad agreement that the number-one solution to these problems was . . . better parents.... (Read More ...)